One Night In Bangkok

Great beach but a strange place

We were already missing the big Burmese smiles and hospitality as we arrived back in Bangkok for the third and penultimate time. Suddenly it dawned on us that Joseph was no longer with us to carry our backpacks and ensure that we didn't have to think for ourselves.

Laden with backpacks we slowly slipped our brains out of neutral and into first gear and negotiated the combination of a rush hour skytrain, a taxi, a 10 hour night bus, another taxi, a speedboat and finally a pillion ride on the back of a motorcycle taxi to our next destination on the carless island of Koh Phayam situated off the west coast of Thailand. Oddly enough it was closer to mainland Burma than Thailand.

A small A-frame bungalow with an outdoor cold shower decorated in shells was our new home for the next week or so. Idyllically situated just metres away from the centre of the most perfectly formed arc of a bay which stretched for 3kms, we could hear the sounds of the ocean, the cicada filled tropical surroundings and most importantly the electric fan above our heads to keep the mosquitoes from feasting on Vanessa.

When there was an issue with the original booking due to the owner blaming us for spelling our own email address incorrectly, we didn’t really give it much thought. When after a couple of days we politely requested that both our sink and toilet needed unblocking, we were told that we shouldn’t put toilet paper down the toilet. After several months of travelling we were well accustomed to this so again we never really gave it much thought. Finally when our food order was wrong due to the waiter being totally distracted by one of the other sorry staff throwing bricks at one of the harmless stray dogs, the owner came over and once again blamed us, this time for speaking too fast. At this point we realised that these owners were bad news and it explained the sullen faced service that we received from their staff each time as they probably hated working there.

Thai New Year was upon on us which meant just one thing. Water. Not only the onset of the rainy season but also a licence for any child of any age to strategically place themselves then fire plastic water canons from every street corner or for the hard of thinking, simply just throw a bucket of water over any human being that comes within range. Great fun to be part of and a great tradition which made us wonder how it would be received at home without there being a riot, court cases and jail.  

The clouds became darker, the winds stronger, the sea rougher and the owners ruder. After a couple of days there’d been a spectacular thunderstorm which blew out the internet connection which wasn’t a problem, just Mother Nature at work. However, a few days later we politely asked the owners when they envisaged it being available again. Their reply was quite astonishing as they told us we were on vacation  and to go and rent a kayak instead of tapping away on a keyboard. Secretly we were hoping that we could stay here for a few weeks but it was time to leave as they didn’t deserve any more of our time or money.

Any lingering doubts we had about leaving were soon banished when we returned to our hut on the final evening to find our toilet and sink had been invaded by a swarm of flying ants. It was like something out of a horror film and Vanessa’s screams added to the effect when she felt brave enough to venture out there for a wee.

The whole experience hadn’t spoilt our time there but the island was a just a weird place. There was even an ‘island look’ which we received many times. It was similar to the look on a teenager’s face when their parents have just told them to be in by 10pm. It was a shame as this certainly wasn’t typical of Thailand as we’d not experieced this anywhere else.

Next morning was a relief as we arrived at the ferry dock but the owner still had a sting in her tail. As we attempted to board the speedboat to escape, who else could it have possibly been to blatantly barge in front of Vanessa? One ignorant lady owner.

A long and very overcrowded bus journey across Thailand’s peninsular meant that we couldn’t reach our chosen destination the same day so we decided to bed down for the night in Surat Thani. Instead of having to sit with our feet in the sand listening to the ocean whilst scoffing another Thai curry we thought we’d treat ourselves so we headed off to the local Tesco supermarket, bought some mature cheddar and a baguette and ate it in our room whilst watching BBC World News! Not that we’re missing anything from home of course.